How to Support a Grieving Friend During the Holidays: Simple, Meaningful Ways to Show You Care
The holiday season is meant to feel joyful, cozy, and connected—but for someone who is grieving, this time of year can feel heavy, confusing, and painfully quiet. If you have a friend who’s navigating loss, you may be wondering what to say, what to do, or how to show up in a way that genuinely comforts them.
The good news? Supporting a grieving friend doesn’t have to be complicated. Small, thoughtful gestures—done with kindness and consistency—can make a profound difference.
Here are simple, actionable ways to support a grieving friend during the holidays.
1. Acknowledge Their Loss (Don’t Avoid It)
One of the biggest fears people have is saying the wrong thing, and so they say nothing at all. But a grieving friend needs to feel remembered, and so does their loved one.
Try saying:
“I’ve been thinking of you this week.”
“I know the holidays may feel different this year. I’m here.”
“Your mom/dad/child/husband was such a light—thinking of them today.”
It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just needs to be honest.
2. Offer Specific Help—Not Vague Offers
“Let me know if you need anything” feels kind, but it puts pressure on the grieving person to figure out what to ask for.
Instead, offer something concrete:
“I’m going to the grocery store—can I grab a few things for you?”
“I’m free Thursday. Can I help you wrap gifts or run errands?”
“Would you like company on a walk this weekend?”
Actionable help lifts a burden they may not even realize they’re carrying.
3. Give Them Permission to Opt Out
Holiday expectations can feel overwhelming. Let your friend know that it’s okay not to be okay—they don’t have to show up with forced cheer.
Try this gentle approach:
“Please don’t feel pressured to say yes. The invitation is here if you want it, and there’s no wrong answer.”
This removes guilt and gives them emotional space they desperately need.
4. Create a Soft Landing: A Small Comfort Gift
A simple, heartfelt gift can speak volumes when words fall short. Thoughtful options include:
A warm blanket or cozy socks
A handwritten card with a memory about their loved one
A memorial ornament with their loved one’s name
A “thinking of you” gardening gift box they can plant when they feel ready
A “thinking of you” soothing tea gift box for quiet evenings
A self-care box filled with gentle comforts
These gifts don’t fix grief, but they remind someone that they don’t have to walk through it alone.
(If you offer a gentle mention of your condolence boxes or seed packets, this is the perfect place.)
5. Invite Them to Share a Memory (If They Want To)
Many grieving people cherish the chance to talk about their loved one—especially during a season centered around traditions and family.
You can say:
“I’d love to hear one of your favorite memories of her, if you ever feel like sharing.”
This lets them choose whether the conversation goes deeper.
6. Check In Throughout the Season
Grief often intensifies leading up to:
The loved one’s favorite holiday
Their birthday
Christmas Eve or Christmas Day
New Year’s Eve
Family gatherings
Mark a reminder in your phone to check in. A simple “Thinking of you today” text can be a lifeline.
7. Make Space for Their Emotions—All of Them
Grief during the holidays can look like:
sadness
anger
exhaustion
numbness
guilt
joy mixed with sorrow
If they open up, you don’t need to fix it. You just need to be present.
Try saying:
“I’m here for you—whatever today looks like.”
8. Encourage Rest and Gentle Boundaries
Holidays can be overstimulating—and for someone grieving, draining. Support them by encouraging rest:
“If you need to leave early, I’ll help you slip out quietly.”
“If today feels like too much, we can watch a movie or sit together instead.”
Knowing they have someone in their corner can make holiday gatherings feel less overwhelming.
9. Keep Showing Up After the Holidays
Grief doesn’t end on January 1st. In fact, many people feel an emotional crash once the season is over.
Add a post-holiday check-in to your calendar.
A simple:
“Thinking about you today. How are you feeling after the holidays?”
This small act can mean everything.
Final Thoughts: Your Presence Matters More Than Perfection
Supporting a grieving friend during the holidays isn’t about knowing the right words. It’s about offering kindness, consistency, and compassion in a season that may feel painfully empty for them.
Your presence—your texts, your invitations, your gentle reminders that they are not alone—can become a source of comfort they remember for years.
For more ways to grow love, cherish memories and celebrate life, read more on our blog at GloriasGardenAndTea.com/blog
